SCORNED X-WIVES and JUDGEMENTAL FRIENDS

Well isn't that just an eye catching title? You know we have to cover this subject and get it out of the way. We have alot to cover in 365 days. Now look, we all know a scorned individual and we also know of forgiveness too.  I'm not even sure how to start this. I could've made the title "wife Swap" but I really didn't think it was necessary. My life story is so dramatic, some things you would not even believe.  But I will say My X...is with my husbands X. (dramatic pause)   Family, Friends and all of the township are aware of it.  I suppose as long as everyone is happy... its "Do-able" Everyone is easy going. EXCEPT she and I. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I'm asking for the anger, the jealousy, the nonsense to stop. It's totally uncomfortable for the kids. ALL of them, and that's what matters. They see it, they feel it. They have to live with it at basketball games, soccer games, dance recitals and guess what , if it continues, that pours into graduations, weddings and other milestones. I can get past my former mother-in-law not talking to me for the past 5 years even though I am  the mother of her grandchildren.

Yes, I even lost friends in the divorce process. People take sides , but then of course you see where their loyalty is. The friends I have, are the friends that will remain with me until the day I die. I may not be the most spiritual, religious person in the world. But, I can tell you I know what forgiveness is and I know what a christian does...they make mistakes. Maybe one day for the kids sake the scorned one will learn to forgive and make it a little easier and less stressful for the kids. Its a twisted story, but a true story.

Against my cousin Andreas will, she said, "Jackie, take the high road and "let it be". Do not write things that will get you into trouble, or get people upset."  I had to write this, its heavy on my chest, and a friend of mine text me today  who also is divorced and getting re-married. She said " why aren't my friends reaching out to me to help me?" Because I will tell you why.....Divorce to some is like murder. We should be stoned, we should tie a rope around our neck and hang.We should remain miserable.  We now become UGLY, DECEIVING individuals. Well, that's 50% of us.  It took a little while, but through the "cleansing" process I am clear of the guilt and I realize I cannot change the way people view me. I do however respect my x-husband for talking with me, and understanding that  (together) will always be the parents to OUR children.  I praise my x-in laws (some of them) who still acknowledge me. I thank my friends who have stuck by my side. And I hope my friend Jayne can forgive me for being one of those people who did not have the word divorce in her vocabulary all those years ago when she was going through it. I have been on both sides.

In closing I hoped this someone helped my friend who is going through alot of the same thing and is planning her second marriage. I wish you a world of happiness. Go on a Rampage of Appreciation, rather than Discussing the Evils of the World. 

My cousin Anrdrea