Unfaithful and inconsistant.

Ok, I must admit I have been inconsistent with my 365 days. I was solely using my blog for therapy, and to share some of my fears, my problems, my joys and concerns.  Somehow the minute someone read into my writings the wrong way...I had a person (who is since deleted) from my facebook write me some very nasty things. She has her own facebook page now, and I know exactly who it was.

Aside from all of that NONSENSE and child play. I am doing just fine, on the outside. My shell has had to become very strong. And of course with the support of friends and family it makes my world a much better place. I think about how I have been tested with my relationship with God lately too. No matter what he is throwing at us, or how the devil tempts us we have to remain faithful to him AMEN.

I suppose I have learned not to be so "open" about everything. and Believe me there are things I am keeping in a private place to be brought out for my reality show one day and one thing I can promise is it wont be the CBS after school special.

I really don't think I have had this many challenges in my 42 years as I have had this year. one thing I can say is that its really not That bad, someone always has it worse. My favorite line from the most wonderful man in the world ( next to my dad) comes from my husband. He says , "Jackie, I will let you know when to push the PANIC button" It has taken me 42 years to put my complete trust in anyone. He has it. In five short days we celebrate our one year wedding anniversary. He keeps me in check and shows me how to be "Army Strong" even when I feel like a failure of a mother to my kids, or have a really bad day, or say things I shouldn't. Aside from all of the frustrating things that may be revolving around my world lately, I know it will get better, and that is the bottom line, there is no room for things getting worse....turn the page and hold your head up. Being a parent is the toughest job in the world. The worries, the ups and downs, trying to "let go" and watching them fall. Someday they will be all grown up. Someday.