Time to DOWNSIZE

It's Monday!! and we have Five months til Christmas!  I can hardly believe it! The heatwave sucked the life right out of me. This past weekend I totally relaxed. I never do that. Stayed on the couch, watched lifetime movies, had  lovey totally wait on me...it was quiet, our X's had the kids. It was nice.  I put all my worries under the rug for another day.

And then another work week approaches. I love my job, really I do... but sometimes that alarm at 4:30 pisses me off occasionally. The perk, my work day ends early!

John and I realized it is time to cut back on a few things...one of them, our gas tank. The Chevy Uplander I have been driving as "soccer mom" over the past 8 years is ready for another home. While I still call myself a soccer mom for one more year, the size of the vehicle is totally unnecessary. I am looking forward to shopping around for new wheels, and a much cheaper gas tank. Is it another milestone? Hell yes. I wont be driving a Mustang or a sporty, sassy vehicle. But, I will be driving something much smaller. 3 of the five teenagers have their license, this gives me a little breathing room, but less sleep at night when they are behind the wheel.

I always felt proud to drive kids around in my family van, it was never embarrassing, I like putting the kids sports equipment in there, and having the five kids crammed in the 7 passenger vehicle until Eric's legs got so long we thought we would have to put his head through a make shift sunroof. Its ideal with a DVD player in it, and a stereo system that plays my Barry Mannilow CD's. Yes, I even went "parking" in it occasionally with my husband. So what, when you have a house full of kids and you want OUT, a trip to the food store turns into a detour. Never a dull moment.

Downsizing...its a good thing. I'm going to say good-bye to the mileage on that Uplander with a smile. Lots of memories go along with it. Good ones. It has grown with my kids. Its been good to me. I am going to embrace this downsize. I'm looking forward to it actually. Its just "shopping around for the RIGHT wheels" that will be time consuming. let the fun begin!

Christmas in July! If we just THINK cool....we might just start feeling a little better. Its so hot out there, its not even worth complaining about. Its safe to say that this entire week after working in the morning and a workout at Sunshine Wellness Center ( yes I am back on track after a month long vacation) I go home, eat something and do NOTHING. Yes, nothing. If you know me, you know its very difficult to sit still.

This summer has been a bit stressful. Nothing I cant handle. Alot of my friends who are in their 40's or are just welcoming the big 4 0 have begun taking depression medicine. Can I just say I am NOT a believer of those types of medication, BUT  if you just cant seem to get by...take it, do what you need to do. Knock that demon out of your system and climb the mountain. 40 is just saying you have 40 more good years left. If things got really bad for me and I could not dress myself in the morning with my smile...then yes I would take what the doctor ordered and I am guilty of taking an anti-depressant about 8 years ago for about a year. I will stand by my friends through their most difficult times, it makes me realize that we all have certain things that catch us "off guard" and things may come to a halt when you least expect it. Let me tell you what I have learned in the past 5 years of my life...perhaps my friends will read this because they know how far I have come and maybe in their own times of being caught "off guard" with life's many detours...this might help.

No one is perfect
It is possible to have your own fairy tale.
The people who do not know you, don't really matter or do their opinions
I have become a much better listener
When your kids make the wrong choice, its NOT your fault
ALWAYS tell your loved ones that you love them
keep yourself healthy....obesity is your own choice
pray everyday but give thanks first.

Have a great weekend everyone. I will be relaxing. And I wont feel guilty!

6 More Months until Christmas :)

Summer Vacation 2011

Oh the things you will see, the things you will do, when you travel with me....two by two!

What a great time I had. I hope I speak for the 6 other individuals that came along! We began last Saturday on our 1 year anniversary. Everyone boarded the plane. The flight was smooth. We arrived at the vacation home in Kissimmee, and ordered pizza. That night we all went food shopping. The girls were so kind to make us an anniversary cake. It was extra special and thoughtful!

My husband has more patience than a saint!  We have 49 more years to go baby.

Sunday we took off to Miami
Monday Daytona
Tuesday relaxed and shopped at the outlets
Wednesday Sea World
Thursday Universal
Friday Cocoa Beach
Saturday back home to Pa.

There was one huge fight....(Michael  and Alex)
nothing was lost or misplaced
The topless beaches in Miami came as a surprise to all of us
Michael made everyone breakfast.
Holly and Katie got their Harry Potter Wands
Eric had his dream of visiting NASA Kennedy Space Center...and wanted so badly to fly to the moon
Alex missed his girlfriend :)

We took advantage of every last minute....including being paged at the airport on Saturday night...we were the last ones on the airplane...

My life is so very rich and blessed!

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY !!!!!

Tomorrow will be our ONE year Anniversary. I have married my best friend. He knows every button to push and completes every sentence that I cant. I know how very blessed I am to be with an amazing man.

It is a fairytale without a doubt. We have been through alot...and it took a marathon to get where we are. Blending a family is not an easy task. It will take another marathon to continue growing and learning about each other. Everytime I look at my husband, he doesn't have to speak, we just "know" how much love, trust and patience we have for one another.

The kids amaze me everytime we are together. They have accepted our happiness..for as hard as it was. They now get it. They "get" us.

Tomorrow is our ONE year Anniversary. Its not just to be celebrated between John and I , but all of us....all 7 of us are celebrating the anniversary together. We take off For the beauty of beaches in Miami, Daytona, visit Orlando, Sea World, Universal and Coco Beach.

Its the last BIG vacation, until they ask us to go vacations with their families one day!

I look forward to growing old with this family. We may not be the perfect family...no one is. But we are dedicated to each other, and look out for one another. That's all I could ask for. That.....and a whole lot of laughter.

Thank God for an amazing husband. Thank God for supportive children, parents that stood beside me through my drama, a mother  in law who anyone would wish for, and a brother-in-law who keeps me on my toes!!

Rest In Peace

You can't help hearing, reading and seeing the sadness the Kyle Pagerly family is feeling. Today Kyle will be laid to rest. Since I have lived here in Berks County There have been 2 police officers shot and killed and most recently Kyle, a Canine Deputy Sheriff with the Berks County Sheriff's Department since 2006 had been killed in the line of duty with his best friend Jynx by his side. 28 years old. Such a short life. But a good life. I did not know Kyle other than an on air interview with him and how proud he was of his Canine friend.

My heart breaks for his wife and unborn child. For his parents and siblings. My husband is in Law Enforcement. There isn't a day that he is working that I don't think "what if", he is very brave and and loves his job. His reply to me is "Jackie, you can walk out the front door and be hit by car" None of us know Why things happen to good people, and it really isn't worth spending hours questioning our God.

Today there will be thousands of people saying their final goodbyes to a hero. To all of our "lifesavers" Thank you.  You lay your life on the line everyday. Rest In Peace Kyle. You are in the hands of a hero now.

Unfaithful and inconsistant.

Ok, I must admit I have been inconsistent with my 365 days. I was solely using my blog for therapy, and to share some of my fears, my problems, my joys and concerns.  Somehow the minute someone read into my writings the wrong way...I had a person (who is since deleted) from my facebook write me some very nasty things. She has her own facebook page now, and I know exactly who it was.

Aside from all of that NONSENSE and child play. I am doing just fine, on the outside. My shell has had to become very strong. And of course with the support of friends and family it makes my world a much better place. I think about how I have been tested with my relationship with God lately too. No matter what he is throwing at us, or how the devil tempts us we have to remain faithful to him AMEN.

I suppose I have learned not to be so "open" about everything. and Believe me there are things I am keeping in a private place to be brought out for my reality show one day and one thing I can promise is it wont be the CBS after school special.

I really don't think I have had this many challenges in my 42 years as I have had this year. one thing I can say is that its really not That bad, someone always has it worse. My favorite line from the most wonderful man in the world ( next to my dad) comes from my husband. He says , "Jackie, I will let you know when to push the PANIC button" It has taken me 42 years to put my complete trust in anyone. He has it. In five short days we celebrate our one year wedding anniversary. He keeps me in check and shows me how to be "Army Strong" even when I feel like a failure of a mother to my kids, or have a really bad day, or say things I shouldn't. Aside from all of the frustrating things that may be revolving around my world lately, I know it will get better, and that is the bottom line, there is no room for things getting worse....turn the page and hold your head up. Being a parent is the toughest job in the world. The worries, the ups and downs, trying to "let go" and watching them fall. Someday they will be all grown up. Someday.